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sun_set_bravelyMy boyfriend's father is getting married in June, and I just received the invitation. I'm happy for his father and fiancee, and will be proud to attend. But it was weird to get this invitation. I'm always surprised when people I know get married, or get pregnant. People really do this kind of thing?? Maybe it's my age, maybe it's my experience of marriage (through my parents and friends' parents); for some reason, it's always a surprise to me.
Now, those who know me know my frequent habit of spouting invective against the Institution of Marriage, the overblown commercialism and waste that goes into 80% of wedding ceremonies and receptions, etc. And of course there's no mention below of a fiance/husband because, let's face it, weddings have usually been the woman's only day to shine in a marriage.
And let me preface this entry with the advisory to note that I'm a bit more than sentimental right now, and I know that most weddings don't turn out anywhere near this.
Okay, turning Inner Cynic off.
I have a dirty confession to make.
Deep breath.
I want to get married.
It's true. I want the platinum diamond ring and proposal and everything. I want to spend six months of my life planning and dreaming about a day-long celebration of love and all things good in life. I want to register at fancy stores and pick out china patterns and flatware. I want a blue Kitchen-Aid and all sorts of kitchen appliances. I want to sit with a florist and choose the most beautiful flower arrangements. I want to decide between rice tossing, rose petal throwing, or bubble blowing. I want to look through stationery colors and weights and I want my name to be on the inside card of a double nested envelope. I want to sample appetizers and entrees and champagnes. I want a huge, delicious cake to be made with my name on it and two little figures on top. I want to have a party with my friends to celebrate my nuptials. I want a rehearsal dinner at a fabulous Mexican restaurant. Sorry Brittany. :)
I want to play dress-up and have my mom and sister and best friends help me pick out the dress that makes me look like a goddess. I want someone else to fix my hair and makeup just right. I want a room full of people I love and respect to stand up when I enter the room. I want to look at my parents and see them approve of my choice of spouse and future.
I want to look graceful and lovely as I move from dressing room to ceremony to reception to honeymoon. I want people to sigh as they see me. I want to be captured perfectly on film for everyone to remember. I want people to tell me what beautiful children we'll have.
I want to invite all of the people I love into one room to celebrate something I believe in and to have a kick-ass party with lots of dancing. I want to feel the well-wishes of my family and friends concentrated on me.
I want a place where I can stand still and look out over a cliff and see my future spread out across the years and make sense. I want a clear sticking place for all the dreams and hopes for love and companionship I've ever had.
Of course I do. Who wouldn't?
Now, those who know me know my frequent habit of spouting invective against the Institution of Marriage, the overblown commercialism and waste that goes into 80% of wedding ceremonies and receptions, etc. And of course there's no mention below of a fiance/husband because, let's face it, weddings have usually been the woman's only day to shine in a marriage.
And let me preface this entry with the advisory to note that I'm a bit more than sentimental right now, and I know that most weddings don't turn out anywhere near this.
Okay, turning Inner Cynic off.
I have a dirty confession to make.
Deep breath.
I want to get married.
It's true. I want the platinum diamond ring and proposal and everything. I want to spend six months of my life planning and dreaming about a day-long celebration of love and all things good in life. I want to register at fancy stores and pick out china patterns and flatware. I want a blue Kitchen-Aid and all sorts of kitchen appliances. I want to sit with a florist and choose the most beautiful flower arrangements. I want to decide between rice tossing, rose petal throwing, or bubble blowing. I want to look through stationery colors and weights and I want my name to be on the inside card of a double nested envelope. I want to sample appetizers and entrees and champagnes. I want a huge, delicious cake to be made with my name on it and two little figures on top. I want to have a party with my friends to celebrate my nuptials. I want a rehearsal dinner at a fabulous Mexican restaurant. Sorry Brittany. :)
I want to play dress-up and have my mom and sister and best friends help me pick out the dress that makes me look like a goddess. I want someone else to fix my hair and makeup just right. I want a room full of people I love and respect to stand up when I enter the room. I want to look at my parents and see them approve of my choice of spouse and future.
I want to look graceful and lovely as I move from dressing room to ceremony to reception to honeymoon. I want people to sigh as they see me. I want to be captured perfectly on film for everyone to remember. I want people to tell me what beautiful children we'll have.
I want to invite all of the people I love into one room to celebrate something I believe in and to have a kick-ass party with lots of dancing. I want to feel the well-wishes of my family and friends concentrated on me.
I want a place where I can stand still and look out over a cliff and see my future spread out across the years and make sense. I want a clear sticking place for all the dreams and hopes for love and companionship I've ever had.
Of course I do. Who wouldn't?
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I think my Inner Cynic's Off Switch is broken. But...
Date: 2002-05-02 07:40 pm (UTC)Although, after musing on such imagery-laden daydreams, I do have to say that if you want to do it, it's gotta be BIG. Big and happy. Just like that.
Mmm.
(blinks)
What am I doing smiling over MAWWAGE! Gack! Here:
"Check this out.
I'm standing at the altar,
As they play the wedding march (wedding march!)
I'm in a black tuxedo
With my collar full of stah-ar-arch!
She looks as lovely as she's EVAH GONE GET.
I wake up from this nightmare in a pool of sweat."
- Living Colour, "Love Rears Its Ugly Head"
Re: I think my Inner Cynic's Off Switch is broken. But...
Date: 2002-05-03 07:16 am (UTC)What I really want is the big kick-ass party where everyone gets all dressed up. And I could host one of those for just about any reason. I'm all for life-partnership and all that, but I don't buy into the myth of the all-happy Wedding Party where any of the above actually happens.
As for me being an adult because I want that kind of thing, I think the opposite of what you do. That wedding is a total Toys R Us wedding, perfect and shiny and plastic. (except for the parts about having everyone I love party hard. That's just fun.) I think the adult version of that wedding would involve a closer look at everything kids (especially little girls) are told that they should want on their wedding day. The adult version of that wedding involves mature decisions that don't involve paying $3000 for a dress that you're going to wear once. Conspicuous consumption, anyone?
Don't get me wrong; I believe in love and its power. But if I ever do get married, or if I have a celebration of a life committment, it won't look like an orgy of white lace and greed. It'll involve family and friends and some good food, and the recognition that it's a tough journey through life, period, with or without a person by your side.