Disappointment

[sun_set_bravely]

Wow. And not five minutes after posting about a dream where all my apartment woes were dealt with, I get a phone call from a potential roommate. She found a cheaper place and had to take it. My options are becoming thin. I leave in a week and don't come back until the end of August. I have to have a new roommate by September 1st.

I want to cry.

Comments

[microbie.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathies. Roommate/home issues are so hard to deal with- it's hard not to take them as a rejection of yourself.

In a way, I envy New Yorkers. There's this fabulous person who needs a roommate in a great city!

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

You're right; I think I'm taking these rejections far too personally. I just want this part of my life to settle down, for crying out loud! And I know it will, eventually. Thank you for your kind words.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience - you can do it!

We did interview over two dozen people in the last week, after four slipped through our fingers, but we finally got one.

Through what venues are you looking? Are you power-interviewing?

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

I'm looking through Craigslist, through friends' contacts, through my landlords' contacts, and through the Woodhull lists. Do you have any other recommendations?

What is power-interviewing? I guess my answer tells you that I'm not. :)

rilly rilly long reply

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Craigslist seems to be the way to go in Boston now, and we also have bostonapartments.com, which has a "roommates" section and is also free. I think it has a New York section (bumping you to, I presume, NYapartments.com or some such thing) so that might be worth checking out.

The woman moving in here shortly is, I realized, the thirteenth person I'll have lived with in four years. In that time I've gotten interviewing down to a science. The keys are thus, and I'm sure some of these will be obvious to you:

- Even if you have no one else coming, kick the person out after half an hour, saying you have someone else coming. This ensures that everyone gets fair time, you don't waste time, you have an out if someone is clearly a loser and you don't get sucked in to one particular person's spell right away.

- Give the spiel about how you run things there, adding, "How does that sound to you?" periodically. You've read our m.o. here; since your place is smaller, you might not have as many rules, but it's good to let them know what you're looking for. This saves you the tedious, draining task of trying to feel out their motives and asking yourself, "Could I live with that? What about that?" Let them do it first. Then ask them why they're moving, what they're looking for, etc.

- Ask what their pet peeves/deal breakers are. This will give you a motherlode of information very quickly. Let them know what yours are too. (For the record, mine are hair in the drain, temper tantrums, and a failure to follow through after saying "I'll do that!")

- Have faith in the process. If you start to look at each person with desperate eyes, they'll sense it and you'll subconsciously begin lowering your standards. By the same token, don't be afraid to take a sublet if you just need to cover your rent. You may think you don't want to live with someone fresh out of college, or a guy, but for 30 or 60 days you can probably do it while you find someone really superb.

- If you can cover September's rent at first, don't be afraid to pro-rate the room if you find someone great on September 7th, i.e. have them pay you for the final three weeks, or whatever time is remaining.

I hope this helps, ma'am. From the trenches, I salute you.

Re: rilly rilly long reply

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

These are all very good suggestions. I have three more interviews lined up this week, so I will make sure to use this advice to my advantage. I could have used it on Saturday, when a very nice but very chatty potential roommate sat and talked with me for over an hour.

I salute you right back.

Re: rilly rilly long reply

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

I should have just said, the most important part out of all that advice is the half-hour limit. You can always invite someone back for more information, but man, it's so easy to get sucked in when there's no limit.

Oh, and don't offer them a glass of wine!

[hypo-style.livejournal.com]

Hi!
I've been meaning to write for a while now, since I first came across your journal due to your listing of "dobro" in your interests (not to mention Ms. McKeown!). I added you as a "friend" because I liked the tone of your writing. I've been wanting to contact you to ask if you happened to know anyone who taught dobro, at a very basic/beginner level, here in New York. Do you play yourself? I just purchased a reso-guitar, having pined after one for over a year (and having loved their sound for many, many years), and am now determined to learn to play it, despite an utter lack of musical inclination.

Having read your recent posts, I am also curious about your apartment situation. Are you still looking for a roommate? Or a new apartment? (I do not know the whole history...)

Anyway, I liked the idea of making your acquaintance, if nothing else. So hi!

Marc
interstitialarch@hotmail.com

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

Hello Marc, and welcome to my part of LJ! Have you lived in Brooklyn for long?

I don't know anyone who teaches the dobro, nor do I know anyone who plays it! I've simply become very fond of it in my deepening relationship to folk music. The dobro in Dar Williams' "Iowa" catches my heart every time. I wish you great luck in learning to play the reso-guitar. That's definitely a new intstrument in my vocabulary.

I am still interviewing people for the apartment, so if you know any females who are interested, let me know. (I'm limiting my search to females this time around. It's a long story.)

Again, welcome!