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sun_set_bravelyBack in September, the delightful Shower Meme made the rounds again. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
anoisblue and schpahky gave me questions which I'm only just now getting to. I'm gonna take it real slow, just to ease back into this posting thing...
anoisblue's questions.
1. How is marriage different than you expected?
I spent the year before we got married thinking a lot -- trying to work out, in advance, any ambiguity I had about the institution, the assumed gender roles inherent in marriage, all that good stuff. And I'm glad I did all that thinking -- but it didn't mean that I could do all the work in advance, then just coast once we signed the papers and said those vows. One of my beautifully human flaws is that I often believe that with enough planning, foresight, thought, that I can avoid making mistakes in life. I'm sure part of that is my youth. So now that we're a year into it, I see that no amount of forethought can skip over the mistakes. And that's a good thing, because life would be awfully boring without slip-ups, disagreements, constructive conflict, chaos. Lessons learned through those times sure do seem to soak in more permanently than lessons learned by the book.
At the same time, marriage is a lot more effortless than I thought it might be. You just take it day by day, moment by moment, and find the fun and pleasure there. You don't have to live the rest of your life all at once. You just breathe, and greet the day as it appears.
anoisblue and schpahky gave me questions which I'm only just now getting to. I'm gonna take it real slow, just to ease back into this posting thing...anoisblue's questions.1. How is marriage different than you expected?
I spent the year before we got married thinking a lot -- trying to work out, in advance, any ambiguity I had about the institution, the assumed gender roles inherent in marriage, all that good stuff. And I'm glad I did all that thinking -- but it didn't mean that I could do all the work in advance, then just coast once we signed the papers and said those vows. One of my beautifully human flaws is that I often believe that with enough planning, foresight, thought, that I can avoid making mistakes in life. I'm sure part of that is my youth. So now that we're a year into it, I see that no amount of forethought can skip over the mistakes. And that's a good thing, because life would be awfully boring without slip-ups, disagreements, constructive conflict, chaos. Lessons learned through those times sure do seem to soak in more permanently than lessons learned by the book.
At the same time, marriage is a lot more effortless than I thought it might be. You just take it day by day, moment by moment, and find the fun and pleasure there. You don't have to live the rest of your life all at once. You just breathe, and greet the day as it appears.
