sun_set_bravely | Missing Winter, pre-emptively

Spring begins in one week, and I find myself already missing winter. I already miss the introspective quiet of winter, the time of drawing in, of feeling slowed down and restful. Of course, these are all things that I rarely let myself experience or indulge in this winter. Sometimes, I make myself crazy with how hard I fight against my natural tendencies, and the greater energies of the world outside my brain. It's an ongoing process, this whole lovingkindness-towards-myself thing. Mostly, I excel at the strict-disciplinarian-towards-myself thing.

Last week, though, I did good. On the 3rd, I finished the second draft of my new script and sent it out to my writers' group. That was at about 8pm. At about 8:34, I was gripped with the desire to make snickerdoodles. And unpack a box. Or two.

Then, when

freak1c left on Sunday morning for a week-long conference, I had to unpack another box. Or six. Or the rest of the boxes in the house, and then I found the shopping bag with the words "you'll be amazed" stretched across the red holiday background, and I found my focus for the week. I took a break altogether from writing, and just shot full-speed-ahead with the apartment-unpacking project. It was so much fun. I got an overwhelming amount of detail work done, from installing the new kitchen faucet to mouse-proofing the house with Brillo pads. I'll post pictures when I can get my camera working again. I went to The Container Store, Home Depot, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Virgin Megastore -- you name it, I went there and bought organizational tools.

My mission was successful. The place looks amazing, I finally have my workspace completely set up, and

freak1c was surprised when I picked him up from the airport last night.

It's amazing what kind of energy is released at the end of one creative project. And today, I'm already feeling bummed that I have to go back to work. I've got that post-project lull happening. I can see why lots of women on the indiebride.com forum still post messages two or three years after their weddings. You put so much energy into one thing, and then it happens, and then what? I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to be post-partum. I imagine it to be like this lull dangled by its toes over a deep ravine, in the middle of a rainstorm of raging female hormones. I mean, damn. That's crazy.

I get comments back tomorrow night. I would love to start shopping this script around. I want it to start production this year. I don't think that's unreasonable.

I'm all over the map. Welcome to my world.