Monster

[sun_set_bravely]

We watched "Monster" last night for the first time. It was a different movie than I'd expected, somehow. I was a little cynical about how much talk there was about "Charlize Theron gained thirty pounds for the role!" and "They made her look really very ugly, you wouldn't believe it!" Like undergoing a make-up process made this woman a real actor.

But I was deeply affected, both by the story and the skillful way it was told. The complexity of Aileen's past, the illusions that Aileen and Selby's relationship was built on, and the accelerated disintegration of that relationship. Because really, how many of us have also based past relationships on those same illusions? That we can be a new person with this new lover or friend in our lives. Or that our beloved makes us safe from the ways that life can hurt us. That the other person brings safety and possibility into an otherwise dim situation. At first, I was disarmed by the prominent use of seemingly cheesy 80s hits, but then I realized that they highlight the way that pop music can seduce us into believing that the American dream of love, a job, and success really is accessible to everybody. Even when the circumstances and our actions shut out that possibility.

"It's like watching a train wreck," Vu said, about a third of the way into the movie. He was exactly right. A well-crafted train wreck.

I'm haunted by the dark scene between Aileen and her last "John." For those who haven't seen the film, I won't say any more about it, but I could barely fall asleep with that raw terror and sadness still in my brain.

~ ~ ~

On the other side of the camera, I'm totally thrilled by what I know about Patty Jenkins, the director and writer, and the way that major parts of the film were brought together. In a December 2003 article in LA Weekly, she said of Aileen Wuornos, "I wanted to show her as someone who crossed a line. She was wrong. She was a killer. I wanted a way to find compassion for someone who truly did horrible things." Isn't that a credo in most of the world's religions? I am awed by a writer who takes on such an intensely difficult task, and then does exactly what she set out to do. And I'm struck by how deeply you have to go into some really dark places to find that compassion. As an actor, a writer, or any other human being who wants to understand another human being.

Also, she was 31 when she made this movie. Just a few years older than me. This is simultaneously daunting (I've got a lot of work to do!) and inspiring (I could do something like this!). Yes, I know I should know all of this anyway, that I can do whatever I put my mind to blah blah blah, but there's just something about a real-life female role model who is doing what you want to be doing.

This movie has got me thinking, which is never a bad thing.

~ ~ ~

Tomorrow, the Tea Girls and I head out of town for a retreat. It's been at least two years in the making; schedules have kept us from doing it until now. We'll finally talk about what worked and didn't work in our writing process, and we'll talk about where we want to go from here.

This means that I won't be in NYC tomorrow, which I'm okay with. Last year, I wondered to myself what the third year out would feel like. We shall see.

~ ~ ~

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Comments

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I've not watched Monster so far, on the assumption it would be so difficult and sad. YOur post makes me want to see it.

[sun-set-bravely.livejournal.com]

It was difficult and sad, but it was compelling as well. I recommend it.